You Know I'm No Good
by PaintRedRoses
Summary: You want him. All of him. All the time. Based off of the song by Amy Winehouse-not a songfic. House/Cameron


**Well, Another one-shot, just cause I love writing them so much. Please review! I just love it. :) Thanks guys!**

Bite.

Suck.

Kiss.

Tumble into that all too familiar oblivion. And yes, it has become all too familiar.

This is the 4th time you've been to his place this week. Excluding your NC-17 excursions at the hospital.

Lay together-Just for a minute.

"I want you..." he whispers, his lips graze the shell of her ear. He flinches from the sensation of the cooled sweat on his warm lips, "all of the time..."

Shudder.

Exhale.

Massage his defined arms, knead your hidden desire into his naked form. The stream of air hitches in your throat, and soon, the choppy vibrations become natural. Instinctively, his tongue draws the finest artistry you've ever known on your skin. The two are barely in contact, though the sensation is utterly mind blowing. You want to secede, give in to the pain and pleasure. The idea of simply giving is just that-simple. And still, painstakingly difficult. Though that constant pang of guilt never made you think much before. You close your eyes-Just for a second, because you realize what you have to go back to. Accusations as to where your hoarse voice originated from.

Highly unlikely that a common cold could stay for four and a half months. Sit up. Straight and tall, like a ballerina.

"You need to go..." he mumbles knowingly, as he shuffles backwards, at what seems like disappointment-it's really only to swallow his sanctity and liquid courage. Your thin lips curl up into a sad smile. You nod, not wanting to ruin the moment with words that could only hurt.

You want him.

All of him.

All the time.

o0o

"I'm home!" you call, cupping your right hand on the side of your mouth. He greets you kindly, and sweetly. His fingers, strong and new, lace with yours and he leans in.

"Oh," he catches himself, "I forgot. You still have that nasty cold, huh?"

"A little. I think it's going away."

"Allison, what took you?"

"House needed me." he scoffs, and gives his eyes a quick, lackadaisical roll. He circles you, his feet leaving a trail of disbelief behind him. You follow his scent, trailing behind him like some lost puppy. Blindly following your...well...him. Your Chase.

"Doesn't he always," he sneers, hiding his emotion with a quirky smile. He clumsily unscrews a Jiff peanut butter jar, and dunks a spoon into it. The thick, sticky substance remains on his fingers, as his silently laps it up, looking only into your eyes. Uninterested-shy even- you turn to retrieve the jar, and place it in its rightful spot.

"He's been stressed and everything. Long year and all," you explain. He nods in mock understanding.

"So what were you doing..." he pries, his usual jellied tone molds and forms into a solid.

"Work. Mail. The usual."

"You don't work for him." Harsher. Harder.

"I don't do it for him! I just teach him" Your arms raise up in defense-voice as well. Your larynx is raised up in your throat, the scratch in the back on your chords cause you to produce a sour swallow. Suddenly, the world around you spins, swooping side to side. Rollercoasters can't compare. Your heart launches out of your mouth, when your hear a silver spoon clang on the counter.

"God Dammit Allison!" he barks

"What?!" you screech.

"When the hell are you going to tell me you're sleeping with him. Do me the fucking courtesy and tell me!"

You stand in silence. When you imagined this through your nightmares, you pictured a million worries flowing in your brain. Now, only a few rise.

1. How did he find out?

2. When did he grow a backbone?

3. What the hell is next?

Still, you stand there, quaking in your heels, wondering what's to come. You know not to make a move...

"Well?"

"It just happened,"

"And kept happening, I presume?" he's sardonic, and spiteful. Something your never seen him truly emit to you.

It stays quiet, silent, barren.

Void of anything...everything.

"I love you, Allison. Please...just tell me you don't love him. That's all I need."

You remain a statue. He tries again.

"Choose. Me or him."

Again, you're frozen. That's exactly how you feel-completely sheltered under an ocean of ice. Numb, from everything. Slowly, your eyebrows knit, and your breathing thickens. Furiously, your head shakes, as you turn on your heel and leave.

o0o

Three times you knock at his door. It only takes him that long to answer.

"Cameron, tsk tsk." he chides. You grip his neck, and force him down to your level. Hungrily you devour him, leaving no room for air or second thoughts. You stumble fully into his abode and hear his wince in your mouth. He breaks away.

"I left Chase." you smile, your teeth glistening against his eyes.

"Um...why?" He's upset. There's now no vehicle to move this... relationship. Can you even call it that?

"You said you wanted me. All of me."

"Damn me and my teenage hormones." he tosses.

"What the hell? You're supposed to be happy! Now we don't have to hide it, or... or.."

"I liked hiding it! What did you expect, Cameron? That I'd smile, and we'd have a real relationship. Eventually, have 2 kids, a picket fence and-"

"No! Of course not! I just wanted all of you too." Suddenly, your cheeks burn from your embarrassment. Never have you felt more exposed and naked. Your emotions-all of them-lay out before him.

He says nothing. The silence frustrates you, you fill the void with your voice, "I..I love-"

"Don't say it." he almost yells. The wrinkles in his face develop more, and a defined with anguish.

"Why." You demand-not ask, "Is it so wrong for me to want you?"

"You didn't say that. You said you loved me. You _don't_ love me. You want me-need me maybe. But no, no, no. That's it."

"Oh shut up! You are a _miserable_ person. And I think-I know I can make you happy. I'm a good guy."

"Well, I'm not."

"Please, House."

"No."

"Ugh!" you cry, loud enough for neighbors to hear, "You don't get it, do you? I could care less about the sex. I could spend every day with you, completely celibate, and be happy. Content. I don't need the damn picket fence and the kids. I don't need that false sense of security. It's for weak people, and in spite of what you think I am not weak. Not at all."

"You're wrong"

"All I want is to grow old with you!"

"I am old!" he booms back. Your catharsis means nothing to him. You know it. It's his own bloody hubris that keeps him from everything. You expel a caustic chuckle. Shake your head, and turn around.

"You should have stayed with Chase," he advises bitterly.

"It wouldn't have changed anything." you sigh from over your shoulder. You slink out the door.

You don't notice, but his eyes follow you, and he leaves an expressionless, concise smile on the back of your head.

You should have known he wasn't any good.


End file.
